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On Keeping A Pool Of Unarmed Victims Available For The Predations Of The Criminal Class

December 11, 2009
A new national survey of gun owners both affiliated and unaffiliated with the National Rifle Association (NRA) found that they believe that Fearless Reader will act to ban the sale of guns.

“Strict gun laws are about as effective as strict drug laws…It pains me to say this, but the NRA seems to be right: The cities and states that have the toughest gun laws have the most murder and mayhem.”—Mike Royko, Chicago Tribune

The Left’s definition of gun control: The theory that a woman found dead in an alley, raped and strangled with her panty hose, is somehow morally superior to a woman explaining to police how her attacker got that fatal bullet wound.
Experts agree that the single most important step toward ensuring your personal safety is making the decision to refuse to be a victim. That means that you must have an overall personal safety strategy in place before you need it and why your humble dispatcher owns a Smith & Wesson 640 Revolver (short frame) AND a Beretta Px4 Storm Sub-Compact both of which are pictured here.
Via Memeorandum
Via The

Two Tears In A Bucket For The American [Suppression of] Civil Liberties Union

December 9, 2009
Oh noes! A longtime anonymous donor to the American [Suppression of] Civil Liberties Union, David Gelbaum, has withdrawn his annual gift of more than $20 million. Gelbaum made a fortune as a hedge fund manager and is a major investor in clean technology.
Anthony D. Romero, executive director of the ACLU said, “…we will need to consider a number of budget reductions as well as the possibility of drawing down from our reserve funds if necessary.”
Late last year, suffering from a decline in charitable giving caused by the economic downturn as well as the loss of income from two foundations hit by the Bernard L. Madoff scandal, the ACLU pared 10 percent of its national staff, or 36 jobs, and Mr. Romero agreed to a 15 percent cut in his salary, reducing it to $302,048 this year, compared with $355,000 in the prior year.
What would happen if we all spent 44 cents for a postage stamp and sent the ACLU a Christmas card? Two tons of Christmas cards would freeze their operations because they wouldn’t know if they were regular mail containing contributions.

125 Broad Street 18th Floor
New York, NY 10004

Via Memeorandum
Via The New York Times
Via 24 Ahead

The Flag He Honored And Under Which He Served

December 9, 2009
The Sussex Square Homeowners’ Association has relented in its threat to take legal action against 90-year-old Medal of Honor recipient Colonel Van. T. Barfoot.
Barfoot won the Medal of Honor for actions while his platoon was under German assault near Carano, Italy, in May 1944. He was credited with standing up to three German tanks with a bazooka and stopping their advance.
He also won the Purple Heart and other decorations, and served in Korea and Vietnam before retiring from the service in 1974.
Citing the neighborhood’s aesthetic guidelines as cause to bring action against the highly decorated veteran of three wars, who merely wanted to display the flag he honored and under which he served, the homeowners’ association was shamed into dropping its request that Barfoot remove the 21-foot flagpole in his front yard.
There is no flag grander than our red, white and blue and no greater reason to celebrate this hero’s gallant and courageous service to this nation.
Second Lt. Van T. Barfoot’s Medal of Honor Citation:

For conspicuous gallantry and intrepidity at the risk of life above and beyond the call of duty on 23 May 1944, near Carano, Italy. With his platoon heavily engaged during an assault against forces well entrenched on commanding ground, 2d Lt. Barfoot (then Tech. Sgt.) moved off alone upon the enemy left flank.

He crawled to the proximity of one machinegun nest and made a direct hit on it with a hand grenade, killing two and wounding three Germans. He continued along the German defense line to another machinegun emplacement, and with his tommygun killed two and captured three soldiers. Members of another enemy machinegun crew then abandoned their position and gave themselves up to Sgt. Barfoot. Leaving the prisoners for his support squad to pick up, he proceeded to mop up positions in the immediate area, capturing more prisoners and bringing his total count to seventeen.
Later that day, after he had reorganized his men and consolidated the newly captured ground, the enemy launched a fierce armored counterattack directly at his platoon positions. Securing a bazooka, Sgt. Barfoot took up an exposed position directly in front of three advancing Mark VI tanks. From a distance of seventy-five yards, his first shot destroyed the track of the leading tank, effectively disabling it, while the other two changed direction toward the flank. As the crew of the disabled tank dismounted, Sgt. Barfoot killed three of them with his tommygun.
He continued onward into enemy terrain and destroyed a recently abandoned German fieldpiece with a demolition charge placed in the breech. While returning to his platoon position, Sgt. Barfoot, though greatly fatigued by his Herculean efforts, assisted two of his seriously wounded men 1,700 yards to a position of safety.
Sgt. Barfoot’s extraordinary heroism, demonstration of magnificent valor, and aggressive determination in the face of pointblank fire are a perpetual inspiration to his fellow soldiers.
Via Memeorandum
Via Hot Air
Via Fox News
Via The Jawa Report

Gator Demotivators

December 6, 2009

Killing two birds with one stone. I get to gloat about Alabama’s trouncing of Florida in the SEC Championship game and I give Robert Stacy McCain something to smile about.

Oh Gator, Where Was Thy Chomp?

December 6, 2009
All week long, your humble dispatcher has endured the slings and arrows of one Doug of The Daley Gator and a certain resident of Cheeselandia at Grandpa John’s. There was also a veiled taunt from a normally adorable caveman at The Troglopundit, who incidentally, also resides in freeze-your-ass-off country and is related to Mr. Cheeselandia.
Thankfully, I had a strong ally in Robert Stacy McCain of The Other McCain who is noted for deftly slicing and dicing his enemies while being quite gentile, if you know what I mean and I think you do.
Tim “The Chosen One” Tebow was ineffective in his battle against the mighty Crimson Tide of Alabama. The Tide dominated the Gators. It was much like an episode of The Crocodile Hunter, where the late Steve Irwin would capture a crocodile, jump on its back, hog tie its legs and duct tape its jaws shut rendering it impotent. This would induce crocodile tears from the critter. Timmy cried gator tears. Oh, the visuals I can conjure up.
I saw a sign somewhere in the massive crowd assembled at the Georgia Dome that encapsulated the game: “Not Even Tebow can part The Crimson Tide”.
I thought about my late father who was a HUGE ‘Bama fan tonight as the players hoisted the SEC Championship trophy in the air. He would’ve been immensely proud.
I want to thank Doug for being so gracious in his post after the conclusion of the game, “Roll Tide!”. He congratulated Stacy and me and urged Alabama to “go beat Texas and keep the SEC supreme!”
Stacy was right, “Politics pales in significance when compared to the cosmic consequences” that were at stake in this immortal conflict.

Full Metal Jacket Reach-Around: SEC Championship Edition

December 4, 2009
This week’s Full Metal Jacket Reach-Around is mostly “shorthand” because I have to finish decorating for Christmas. No matter how hard I try, every year I seem to let time slip away.
My friend, Smitty of The Other McCain, was recently interviewed by The American Glob. Anyone who is a regular reader of that blog knows that Smitty is the unsung Porch Manqué over there. Batman had Robin and Sherlock Holmes had Dr. Watson. Robert Stacy McCain has a gentleman and a scholar as his co-blogger.

He was humble with his answers and he admirably defended Stacy against the “erroneous regurgitation” of old libels. A good friend is a rare commodity in this world and, for that reason, I have featured Smitty depicted as “Super Man For All Seasons” with this post.

Smitty honored this blog when he associated it with these great sites: Little Miss Attila, The Sundries Shack, Riehl World View, American Power, Paco Enterprises, The Camp of The Saints, Instapundit, Troglopundit, The House of Eratosthenes, A Newly Conservative Lesbian and Sir Not Appearing On This Internet. I am humbled, sir.

Now, on to the linky-love.
No more Tolly-Bohn.
Telling massive lies can be very lucrative.
The movie sucked but it had a funny part to it.
Fable, schmable.
Mucus aversion?
Special force of two hundred diversity-trained surrender consultants?
Beautiful, beautiful Copenhagen. No spare hotel rooms due to free sex?
Will somebody please do something about this?
In the future, everyone will be Hitler for fifteen minutes.
The more things change the more they stay the same.
This will not end well.
Wait a minaret.
More bread line solutions.
A prisoner exchange? How rich.
Adultery rule No.1: get more than one cell phone.
On being less persuasive when you’re cranky.
Nothing to add, nothing to subtract.
An obedient subject avoids the wrath of the State.
Your voice sounds to my ears like the adults in Charlie Brown.
Magic words are like magic beans like…
To question or laugh? I think it’s to laugh.
Guns, buns, a watermelon and a totally rad sidecar. Totally rad, I tell ya.
And so it goes in Cheeselandia…
A picture is worth a thousand words. Indeed it is.
It is requested that this raving retard STFU.
Invention debunks inventor.
A hick as well as a hack.
Fifteen new czars by 2011. Oh my gawd, Becky.
Sadly, a very small “Johnson”.
Say it ain’t so Cookie Monster! Say it ain’t so!
Sick of people with independent thought who make YOU look stupid? [A real knee slapper.]
Wrong on so many levels—Rudolph the Syphilitic Reindeer.
From the Department of Disdain…
A naked emotional plea for government-run health care. Naked, you say?
A fair question that has been answered umpty-bazillion times.
MOH vs HOA. Talk amongst yourselves.
I loves me some war porn. Less bowing down, Barry, and more of the blowing up.
Cats are evil? Who knew? [CAUTION: strong language]
They can’t do that can they?
Now, the reason I gave this FMJRA the title of SEC Championship is because Stacy and I are avid Alabama Crimson Tide fans. Alabama and Florida meet in the Georgia Dome to battle for bragging rights. Good luck to Doug of The Daley Gator.

ManBearPig Will Be AWOL At “Nopenhagen” Climate Change Conference

December 4, 2009
Former Vice President “Algore”, also laughingly dubbed “ManBearPig”, on Thursday abruptly canceled a Dec. 16 personal appearance that was to be staged during the United Nations’ Climate Change Conference in Copenhagen, which begins next week.
The multimedia public event to promote Algore’s new book, “Our Choice,” included $1,209 VIP tickets that granted the holder a photo opportunity and a “light snack.”
Danish group, Berlingkse Media, which was coordinating ticket sales and publicity for the event, cited “great annoyance” as a factor in the cancellation, along with unforeseen changes in Algore’s program for the climate summit. Three thousand ticket holders are sure to be crestfallen by his absence. After all, doesn’t everyone want to be photographed with an integral player in history’s greatest scientific fraud?
Two members of the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences and Oscar nominees themselves, Pajamas Media founder Roger L. Simon and independent filmmaker Lionel Chetwynd, have called on the academy to rescind Algore’s Oscars in light of the Climategate revelations.
“In the history of the academy, not to my knowledge has an Oscar ever been rescinded. I think they should rescind this one,” Mr. Simon said Thursday. Polar bears could not be reached for comment.
Via Memeorandum
Via The Washington Times
Via Pajamas Media

Diplomacy Is The Art Of Saying "Nice Sheeple"

December 4, 2009
Never before has a blog post by Steve of Grandpa John’s blog felt as false as his Tuesday post announcing his new strategy for the blog war against No Sheeples Here. It seemed like Obama campaign rhetoric—and left both Gator fans and ‘Bama fans feeling distraught.
He wrote:
“College football season is entering crunch time. Emotions run high and serious disputes are often sparked by the least supposed sleight. It, therefore, is incumbent that cool heads rise up and prevail.”

“I have let my readers down and I regret those transgressions with all of my heart. I have not been true to my values and the behavior my family deserves. I am not without faults and I am far short of perfect. I am dealing with my behavior and personal failings behind closed doors with my family. Those feelings should be shared by us alone.”

“Although I am a well-known person and have spent my spare time as a blogger [insert laughter here], I have been dismayed to realize the full extent of what blogosphere scrutiny really means. For the last week, I have been hounded to expose intimate details of my life in Cheeselandia.”

For one brief moment, Steve seemed to be offering a sincere apology for slighting SEC rivals, Doug of The Daley Gator (a Florida Gators fan), Robert Stacy McCain of The Other McCain and yours truly, both of whom are Alabama Crimson Tide fans. Those words were so profound that Tiger Woods decided to mooch them from Steve for his public apology to his wife for taking a mulligan on his marriage vows.
Marlene Dietrich is credited with saying, “Once a woman has forgiven her man, she must not reheat his sins for breakfast.” So I, being a wise woman, will forgive Steve and congratulate him on his Badgers winning against Duke in the Big Ten/ACC Challenge.
As far as the breakfast thing goes though, he’s on his own since he seems to be hawking the newest thing to hit Wisconsin—cheese jerky. Polka on, dude.

To Resident Of Cheeselandia: Are You Always This Stupid Or Are You Making A Special Effort Today?

December 1, 2009
Today’s press briefing on the continuing blog war between evil Steve of Grandpa John’s blog and cuddly, adorable No Sheeples Here has Steve claiming to be “the bigger man”. See photo at left.

Dear misguided, brain-frozen, frost-bitten Steve fears he may have gotten my dander up the other day and makes a snarky “peace offering”. I hasten to remind my readers that Steve’s notion of a peace offering is akin to his idea of creative landscaping—he placed a statue of a deer next to his blue spruce.
This poor unfortunate soul hails from a state whose state flower is the “Road Construction Ahead” sign and whose license plate features the tourism slogan, “Cannibal-Free Since 1994”.
Wisconsin gets its name from the Oneida Indian phrase “Oui-con-sun”, meaning “nothing but polka music on the radio” and the state motto is “Home of Schlitz, Blatz, Pabst, and other beers that sound like vomiting noises”.
No one in Wisconsin pronounces the letter “g” at the end of a word. This prompted the state legislature to pass a drastic law in an attempt to correct this bit of grammatical retardation, which is why everyone in the state has at least one shirt with a big letter “G” on it. Steve’s shirt with the big letter “G” reeks of beer, brat grease and BO.
I’ve got a million of these Steve, baby. You wanna quit while you’re ahead?

Often A Hen Who Has Merely Laid An Egg Cackles As If She Had Laid An Asteroid

November 30, 2009
Yesterday, while I was at work and unable to defend my honor, that Wisconsin wiseacre, Steve from Grandpa John’s blog, wrote this tripe:
“Carol has committed egregious Grandpa Steve abuse. As an Alabama fan, she attempts to prove that the Crimson Tide are worthy by citing MSM polls that place both Alabama and Florida on top of the nation. Well, we all know that the MSM idolize President Obama and defend Anthropocentric Global Warming against all contrary evidence so why would we expect them to report football rankings with any greater accuracy?”
Yo, Steve, you cite MSM polls yourself you dirty, rotten, stinking piece of Limburger cheese. Get a haircut!
Steve continues to cheapen his argument with this: “Just as Stacy McCain, an Alabama fan, is a member in good standing in The Sons of Confederate Veterans, many up in this neck of the woods consider themselves as “Sons of the Iron Brigade.”
To that, I retort, the average man will bristle if you say his father was dishonest, but he will brag a little if he discovers that his great grandfather was a pirate.
Steve, every ass loves to hear himself bray. Noise proves NOTHING.
As if trying to make amends for his downright evilness, Steve tried to pay me a compliment with this, “I must also say after bantering back and forth with Carol, “Those Southern girls are as tough as nails and fight as tenaciously as bulldogs, claw like tigers, are as sneaky as gators, and have the long memories of elephants!”
Four words for ya, dude— big thunder, little rain.
Often a hen who has merely laid an egg cackles as if she had laid an asteroid.